Last night I spent some time with Christ in adoration and I reflected on my recent trip to St. John Vianney Seminary in Miami. Here are my notes:
I went into this retreat confident that I was on track. That I was destined for married life, meant to be a teacher, a husband, a father… I left with the message “Maybe, but be open to where I will lead you.”
The recurring message to me this weekend was not “Be a Priest!” or “You’re meant for Priesthood” but rather something more clear. God wants me to be a man.
How can I be perfect in any vocation if I don’t strive for a perfect Christlike manhood first?
During my visit at the seminary I did not desire to preside masses, give confessions, or live a priestly life. My desire during my stay, and upon leaving, was to be on a path of formation like the guys there; the guys who are also forming themselves into men, before Priests. I desired a devotion to daily mass, a consistent prayer life, and a strong fellowship of men. A perfect friendship with Jesus. All of these things are doable where I am now, some with more effort than others.
Before I stepped foot on the seminary grounds God had all the pieces in place. Imagine a 500 piece puzzle. All the pieces in rows and columns exactly correlating to their position as a whole. All I had to do was open my eyes and with a small amount of brain power; put them together.
1. God wants me to be completely open. It’s okay to be afraid. Frankly, I’m terrified of a possible call to the priesthood. But I tell him that, and always remind myself who this is all for.
2. No reason to be terrified. God simply wants me to be a man right now. A man who strives for the heart of Christ.
3. Be best friends with Jesus; the only friend who has ever died for me, even before I came into existence.
God may not have told me where I’ll end up; but he gave me the next step. If I follow his lead, he will continue to shine his light on the next step, then the next… and one day, by the grace of God, I will follow the stairway to heaven and hear my savior say “well done my good and faithful servant.”
Praise God through the rain.
In Christ’s Love,
hardlyperfect
“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
